Since my last blog in year 2019, it certainly has been a long time I have ever blogged again. Today looking back, many things have changed since I have returned back to my hometown from my 3 years in Arizona.
Year 2019
A busy and also not a good year I would say. Having to unpack everything I brought back from Arizona. Settling in my children with schools and critical examinations in their life. My youngest one is going through the PSLE during this time. Having to find good tuition has put a lot of stress on me. However, he managed to get through it with flying colors. Thank God for watching out for my child! Not forgetting he has put in a lot of effort in working really hard to get good results so that money is not wasted on all the money spent on tuition for all subjects to get him prepared for the exams in only few months time. He got into a Secondary School not too far from home. As for my older child, she has also not spared me from the stressful moments I already have. Applying for Poly to study her choice of major was certainly no easy task either. I have to ensure that all applications to Poly were successfully sent out. No Thanks to Nanyang Poly & Ngee Ann Poly, which didn't come through for her. Anyway, guess that is life! Not meant to be! This is where she goes from here.
A funny thing suddenly happened this year which I found very weird. My Dad suddenly mentioned he want to come see my new house. I have told him to come when we bought this house but he never want to but out of the blue. Even he on wheel chair he dragged himself into my hubby's car to come my house. I didn't understand. Soon, I the picture became clear later years.
Year 2020
This is certainly a year of rough ride. COVID-19 has reached Singapore. A tough year as we got lock down. Circuit Breaker we called it. Everyone rushed to grab the essentials to stock up. I was slow to act during this pandemic crisis. Shopping online was our only source to get stuff we needed. We are all force to put on face mask to cover our mouth when we leave the house. Fines incurred if we don't. Something that is now force into our daily practice and sometimes we tend to forget and conveniently walked out the door without one. Certainly a stressful moment! Something I will remember!
This is only the beginning of the warning I received from God before I returned from Arizona. My Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson disease 2 years back. Step-mom got a maid to look after him instead of doing it herself cuz she claims she unable to. Maid didn't watch him. He fell down. Step-mom called me to not tell me but ask me what to do. At first I don't see anything wrong. I was dead wrong here again. Read on below for answers revealed. Landed in hospital for a spine surgery. I have been going in the out of TTSH for few months and until he got transferred to Renci for rehab. Then signs start to show. Step-mom says to me she planned to put him in elder care home. I didn't quite understand what's going on cuz Dad never ever mentions much to me about his issues so I always thought he is doing fine. Not that I never asked, I do but he never bring up any issues. This is where all the horror starts from here! Later Renci tightened to only allow 2 visitors can visit patient due to the COVID-19 seriously spreading. The maid have taken up 1 slot and his wife took the other. So I couldn't go if they both are there. Have to take turns. It was certainly a stressful and sad moment for me to see my Dad suffering. However, what can I do? This is the life he chose to live by. I was also filled with anger when I realized that she only turns up to visit my Dad at RenCi when his sisters come by. I had to be shoved aside. During one of my visit Renci, Dad told me that his wife renewed a Fixed Deposit that was with his name and placed in her name instead. He was very angry. Needless to explain why. If you are married couple, you understand why. Later I found out, she brought her son with her when she renewed the fixed deposit.
Later, Step-mom was having maid problems. Later she told me maid stole their valuables from them. She never lock her room door where the valuables were kept. I asked why she didn't make a police report immediately. Her answer to me was she don't know. She has a son from previous marriage. Why her son not helping to give advice? Many things about my Dad and her starts to surface from here forth. So many unanswered questions. Why my Dad never mentioned to me? I start to get very confused.
With COVID-19 going on, my health has also started going down from here. Eyes start to show floaters. Couldn't see well in the dark. Blind in fact when God switches off the lights above. I ended up in Admiralty Medical Center after being referred by Polyclinic. Got UTI in June. Bleeding urine. Thought was nothing really serious and brushed it off. Than health starts to go down-heel from here. My lower back which was always in pain on and off begin to hurt more and got worse. It was unbearable. Ended up in Polyclinic and was later referred to A&E @ Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital. This was the very first time I step into this hospital. Waited several hours for them to diagnose as I was not considered as a critical patient. The outcome was that I have kidney stones in my kidney. Was given medication to try to flush it out. Thought it will all go away. However, I was dead wrong!
After a few months of return back to check, Kidney stones were not seen in my scans. It was assumed that it have successfully flushed out from my kidney. However, my lower-backaches pain still persisted. Thus, the investigation continues with CTI scan, MRI scan, Cystoscopy, Endoscopy. This investigation had dragged until Year 2022.
Year 2021
Dad is finally out of RenCi Rehab. I finally can visit him without restrictions. I thought it is over but it is not! More coming! With the Fixed Deposit stolen from my Dad hands while he was in Rehab, it made me have bad thoughts about her. I have turned myself into someone who would not resort to things that only bad intentions people will do. If I don't do it, I don't know what will happen. There is no control over always suspicious of his wife. I don't even really know her at all. I took some measures I didn't think I would resort to but to protect myself since so many uncertainty has happened.
During Chinese New Year, I always come by his house 2nd day but due to COVID-19, there was restrictions each house can host how many guest. Step-mom has nieces and nephews wants to come, again I am shoved to the last. She don't even care I have children need to go school. I felt utterly devastated! I am not important to my Dad! Ok I tell myself last day fine. Thus, been going last day of weekend every Chinese New Year until 2023. I slowly realized that I have been made a sucker all this while. It is starting to get clearer!
Dad lost his maid last year cuz contract ends. Maid wants to go home. Again, stepmother wants to put Dad in elderly care home. Cannot handle him and having a maid stress. The last maid gave her so many issues she don't want to go through again. Dad don't want to go to elderly care and wants to die at home. You can relate if you have been reading through what I have written thus far. I went to the temple to ask and got my answer from God. His wife is trying to throw my Dad out to elderly care home. Thank of God I asked Goddess of Mercy for help. My Dad was saved when she got another maid who have experience and don't give her trouble. Next few years peaceful.
Year 2022
After the long dragged of going back and forth to Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital, I ended up with angiomyolipoma in my left kidney. However, this doesn't explain why it is causing my constant lower back pain. Then, the Doctors referred me to gynecologist @ KKH hospital. Clinic C was the worst! My very first visit after several years of not stepping into this hospital since my last birth in 2007. COVID-19 is still hanging around. Social distancing was a requirement. It was crowded with no place to sit. Number ques was being called except mine was super slow. Every other rooms was moving fast except for mine. Finally, got to see the gyne who did a HPV test on me. Results came out negative. Phew! Still doesn't say anything about my back pain. Next visit, did a Ultrasound Scan, had a better and more experience gyne. Finally, I got my answer after so much struggle! So it is Endometriosis that is causing the pain. Thence, I have been stuck with regular visits hoping the cyst in my ovary will not grow. It has been quite under control until next year.
Year 2023
This year is yet another tough year for me. A stressful one again! My youngest child is taking another major exams this year. GCE 'O' Level! A critical one! Again , I am stressing over helping to cope through this year with tuition with his weaker subjects. Finding tuition isn't an easy task again. Finding a right one that is able to be in line with the MOE syllabus is the toughest. Not all tuition teachers are able to do that. They may be able to teach but if they are not in line with MOE syllabus they aren't helpful to your child and you are practically wasting money and time. Again my child has to go through tons of stress getting through this. I have to be there to monitor him to ensure he gets through with this. My oldest child is graduating this year. One thing I am relief off! Phew! Here comes the next tough one! Getting to go find a job! After a few months, she got it! She is indeed very lucky to get through the panel interview with one go. Not exactly what I wish she would do but at least she got a job now and earning her own money is the most important thing. Where she will go from here, it is up for her to decide for herself. One more to go!
As for my health, my angiomyolipoma in my left kidney is still maintained in size wise. I am good for now until end of next year. Begining of the year, new health issues have surface. I have a new appointment Colonoscopy @KKH ended up doing biopsy that day and went home in pain. It's Lichen Planus. End of the year, returned appointment, good but can't discharge cuz may have potential of developing cancer.
Also a sad year for me. My good, close and only friend who suffered from Kidney disease has passed away. I am alone yet again. In addition, an Aunty from my father's side has also passed. Someone who is fierce enough and can really fight for my Dad.
Year 2024
GCE O Level results are out. Not an expected outcome for my youngest child who was hoping for something. However, he ended with something I wished he would. He is heading to Poly near home. The positive side is he is going to the next level. Praying hard that his path will run smoothly from here.
After regular yearly visits for my eye checkup @ Admiralty Medical Center, I finally managed to get the Doctor to discharged me. No symptoms of tear in my eyes, no signs of developing glaucoma. GST has went up by another percent this year. Food, transport, water, electricity, all going up! Thus, if I can pushed away non critical medical conditions I am doing it.
End of the year comes my next appointment for angiomyolipoma in my left kidney. If this round the size still remains, I am also going to request for discharge.
What remains is Endometriosis for unilocular cyst, angiomyolipoma, Colonoscopy. Gyne says once I go through menopause my unilocular cyst will shrink. I am at 3.7cm already. Have to see how it goes in June.
Here is all that has happened passed 4 years. Next post will decipher my Dad true drama and real intentions.
